Kids Say, v.13.0

Haven’t had a decent ‘kids say’ in over 6 months but tonight Hannah came out with one.

While winding down from dinner, but still seated at the table, Hannah said, “Do I have a wisp?”

It took me a minute to get what she was saying and I started trying to think of what she meant when she followed it up with;

“I don’t know how to say it, but a kid on the bus says I do.”

I understood immediately what she meant and I broke out into laughter. She gave me one of those, ‘now what the hell is so funny’ looks so I explained it to her.

“Hannah, what the kid on the bus meant is a lisp, and no, you do not have one, at all (she doesn’t).” My wife added in, “If you did, you couldn’t pronounce your L’s” and I finished with “and you would say ‘wisp’ instead of ‘lisp’.”

She gave me one of those, ‘oh, OK then’ looks and one of her little grins, and I knew my laughter was OK until the next time.

Kids Say, v.12.0

Tonight after dinner at my Mother-In-Laws house, we were sitting around just chatting about the days events. I was talking about a website I created for my uncle that was having issues.

“Uncle Peter’s site went down” I said, followed closely by “he texted and asked me to call but since I was in the office and didn’t have his files, I didn’t.”

Hannah, who was standing next to the table with this look of anguish on her face said, “He’s blind!?”

We all looked at her with the, huh? look and I said “what sweetie? Is who blind?” to which she replied, “well, you said his sight went down so I thought Uncle Peter was blind.”

We all laughed, as I tried to explain that his website had stopped working. Hannah got mad because we laughed. Maybe one day she will see the humor.

Steelers Lost…. watch how you say that!

I was Christmas shopping in a department store and was checking out, being assisted by an older woman. Her appearance made me think she might be Pentecostal, I mean, she had the PHD, the glasses, the outfit etc…. not that it matters, I am just trying to set the scene.

She was sharing the register with a much younger woman, hip, well dressed etc… who had just gotten off the phone. She turned to the older woman and said, ‘Steelers lost.’

The older woman got this kind of confused look on her face and said ‘who Steelers’ or something like that, and the younger woman replied ‘the Pittsburgh Steelers’ with this duh, everybody knows that, attitude.

I saw a look of relief on the older woman’s face as she said, ‘oh, my dogs name is Steeler.’

I just had to laugh. It was one of those Abbott and Costello moments you only see on TV.

What’s in a name? Maybe a smile….

When we were traveling last week we stopped at a Bojangles in Kentucky for a quick meal. We walked in and this young lady asked if she could help us. Reading her name tag, I said something like, ‘you sure can Gloria’ and with the words barely out of my mouth I noticed this large grin on her face.

Gloria looked at me and said, ‘no one ever uses my name, its always girl or hey you.’ I always try to use a name if I see it, and her response made me realize this wasn’t the first time I had gotten such a response. Another time I said hello to a young black woman working at a store and as she smiled she said, ‘you are the first white person to ever say my name right.’ We both laughed.

Its not hard to treat someone like you would want to be treated so take a second and put forth a little effort. Say hi, use their name, smile… it might be worth your while :)

NKR (not quite right) v.1.0

While I was mobilized I spent 3 weeks in Malaysia which a Navy colleague refered to as the ‘Land of NKR (not quite right)’. I actually thought it was fine but his title did inspire me start gathering my own NKR moments. Here is the first installment of things I noticed on my recent vacation to Florida over the Thanksgiving break:

Its just not the same…

Walking in a Winter Wonderland really looses its meaning when played on steel kettledrums at the beach.

Words on the butt…

We have all seen those bathing suits with words written on the bottoms like Cheer, Pink etc… When a toddler is wearing one that has been pulled up over an obviously full swim diaper, it takes on a whole new meaning when it says JUICY.

Can you hear her now?

I spotted an elderly Amish women in traditional Amish attire, with bonnet, riding an adult size tricycle while talking on a cell phone.

Have any NKR moments to share?

Out of the mouths of Babes…

Having me as a father gives the children an early education on the fine art of sarcasm, but Hannah hasn’t grasped all the nuances quite yet.

Last night on the ride home from dance class, an NPR correspondent was talking about trying to book a hotel room for the upcoming inauguration and said; “If you want to get depressed, Google Washington D.C., hotels and inauguration.” My beautiful half-full child responded, “why would you WANT to get depressed?”

If she can see that, why can’t NPR? :)