Kids Say, v.11.0… a twofer (maybe 3)

For some reason, the kids have just been funny the last few days, for example:

Last night while on the way to Grandma’s house I was scanning the new Sirius lineup in my truck. I landed on a French station and just for fun, I asked the kids what language they were speaking. Hannah piped up right up, I mean within a second and said “French!” followed closely by a “huahn, huahn, hauhn…” That’s probably not spelled right but picture a snooty Frenchman laughing, very funny stuff.

Well tonight, we went out to eat at a local restaurant and bar that has some great burgers. On Saturday they have live music and Noah, my 12 year old guitar aficionado really wanted to hear the band play. They started at eight so I didn’t make any promises and told him we’d just wait and see if we were going to stay that long.

While we ate, we were talking about what kind of music the band might sing. Considering the neighborhood and the bar I said they might be rock or country. Around 7:30 we were still eating and two guys came in to set up, one guy wearing a football jersey and backwards ballcap and the other a leather coat and cowboy hat. Noah leaned over to me and said “cowboy hats are never a good sign.”

They got the equipment set up and tested, and did the mandatory strumming of the guitars and the “check, check, check” to which Hannah replied, “why do they always play that song.”

We listened for a few songs, there were two acoustic guitars and they did covers, not too bad really. They played Hotel California for Noah and he told me they were doing power cords, like, I would know the difference. On the way out he said “at least they weren’t one of those country bands that make your ears bleed.”

You think they try to be funny or are just naturally gifted like their Dad? ;)

Kids Say, v.10.0

Had a few this week:

We had no power for three days due to a wind storm last Sunday. After two and a half days we had to empty the fridge because of spoilage and we put a candle in the fridge so we could see since it was dark outside. Hannah said, is it safe to put a candle in the fridge and I said ‘don’t worry honey, it goes out when you close the door’. I know thats not a kids say but the look on her face was priceless.

When the power returned it was dark and the people across the street had lights on on just the first floor. When Hannah saw that the second floor was dark she said “the people across the street only got half their power back.”

Finally Noah, the fair-haired boy who just entered 7th grade remarked; “I’m afraid I am going to have to start shaving before the end of seventh grade.” Not funny to you probably but he was serious and bowling balls need shaves more than he does.

I am afraid to admit that the Kids Say are fewer and farther in between. They are just growing up too fast.

The Rise and Fall of a Modeling Career

A lot of people have asked about the avatar I use for my Twitter profile so I thought it would be easier just to point them here.

Back in 1994 I was working for Midwest Micro, a local company that was competing with Gateway. I worked in the advertising department where I was a manager.

We advertised in many of the Ziff Davis publications, Computer World, PC Computing and Computer Shopper and the creative director planned these elaborate multi page spreads that appeared in these publications. Most were 4 to 10 pages, full color, always with a theme.

Well October was drawing near and the boss wanted to advertise ‘monster savings’ so he planned this Halloween spread, he also asked if I wanted to be part of it. I said sure, even though it meant shaving off the moustache I had sported for years, I thought it would be fun.

The result is in the avatar. I spent a few hours in makeup and had a huge hose clamp around my neck that had Pentium computer chips attached to it. My picture took up most of the page on page two of the spread and appeared in a couple million magazines.

So, I joke, but yes, that was the extent of my modeling career. If you ever stop by the house, I still have the October 1994 PC Computing if you want to see. :)

Kids Say, v.9.0

Went for a walk at lunch with Hannah who rode her bike. As we went through the neighborhood I noticed she was having trouble stopping so I checked her brakes, commenting to her that one of them needed to be adjusted.

She said ok and then asked, ‘can you tell me how to turn on my blinker?’ ‘Your blinker’ I asked. ‘Yes, that big shiny square on the front and back.’

I laughed, as often happens during our conversations, and said, ‘those are reflectors.’ ‘Oh’, she said, ‘whats a reflector?’

As much as I enjoy watching her grow, I am going to miss these times even more.

Kids Say, v.8.0

‘Kids Say’ worthy quotes are fewer and farther in between, but occasionally one of the kids comes up with one. The most recent both came from Hannah.

Crisis in the Middle Ages

I overheard Hannah laughing in the back seat of the car and when I asked her why she said, “I just saw an old man in a sporty car. He is having a middle age crisis.”

What kind of fish is that?

While at the grocery we decided to have fish for dinner and Hannah helped us pick out what kind of fish we were going to have. Before we even started cooking, Noah asked what was for dinner and we replied fish. “What kind” he asked and Hannah replied “caught fish.” My wife and I both cracked up and through our laughter we said, “no Sweetie, its cod fish.”

She is funny without even trying… at least to us.

Seven words, not the dirty ones….

‘George Carlin died Sunday of heart failure’

Not everyone’s favorite comic, but he made me remember, he made me think, and he made me laugh. From his Catholic school stories, to Al Sleet (the Hippy Dippy Weatherman), to the meaning of words and how people use them, he always had a passion for what he said and he knew how to say it.

Thanks George, you will be missed.