From the local newspaper:
Dayton stimulus request includes prostitution plan
Couldn’t they just put in a few McDonalds, or maybe a Starbucks?
Actually the story is about ridding the city of prostitution but its hard to tell based solely on the headline.

Headline in the Dayton Daily News RSS Feed today:
“Man fatally shot by Dayton officer was released from Twin Valley”
Which begs the question, where does a fatally shot man go?

‘George Carlin died Sunday of heart failure’
Not everyone’s favorite comic, but he made me remember, he made me think, and he made me laugh. From his Catholic school stories, to Al Sleet (the Hippy Dippy Weatherman), to the meaning of words and how people use them, he always had a passion for what he said [...]

I don’t write this stuff. I found this one on Reuters.
Cemetery full, mayor tells locals not to die
“BORDEAUX, France (Reuters) – The mayor of a village in southwest France has threatened residents with severe punishment if they die, because there is no room left in the overcrowded cemetery to bury them.
It added: “Offenders will be [...]

My wife and I were home for lunch and caught a news story about a candlelight vigil that was held for five people who lost there life in a duplex fire. In and of itself, not a remarkable event, but my wife pointed out something I had missed. She turned to me and said:
“Don’t you [...]

Another headline, this time from Kansas City, Mo:
“Books burned to protest reading decline”
Maybe if there are less books the decline in reading won’t look so bad. Things that make you go hmmm.

 
“No ruling yet on cause of death in Friday police shooting”
That is an actual Dayton Daily News headline today for a story about the Montgomery County Coroner’s Office and a recent local incident.
Now, I am no coroner, but I am guessing the cause of death in the shooting was bullets.

I didn’t make this up
Flatulence Forces Plane to Land

In the headlines:
Police Shoot Student in St. Louis Suburb
ST. LOUIS — Police shot and wounded a student at a suburban school Wednesday after he pointed a gun at himself…

Or maybe it should be Dumbasses 4.