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Mikeward v8.0 is the personal website for Mike Ward, the former east coast, now midwest, computer geek/naval officer. It is a place for me to document my random thoughts, ideas, travel tips, sea stories etc... a place for pics of the places I've been and the things I have seen... pretty much what makes me happy. Feel free to read and share...


Archive for the 'humor' Category

Out of the mouths of Babes…

Tuesday, November 18th, 2008

Having me as a father gives the children an early education on the fine art of sarcasm, but Hannah hasn’t grasped all the nuances quite yet. Last night on the ride home from dance class, an NPR correspondent was talking about trying to book a hotel room for the upcoming inauguration and said; “If you [...]

Kids Say, v.11.0… a twofer (maybe 3)

Saturday, November 15th, 2008

For some reason, the kids have just been funny the last few days, for example: Last night while on the way to Grandma’s house I was scanning the new Sirius lineup in my truck. I landed on a French station and just for fun, I asked the kids what language they were speaking. Hannah piped [...]

Kids Sing v.1.0

Thursday, October 9th, 2008

We all know the Yankee Doodle classic with the line that goes, ‘stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni.’ Well, last night Hannah came in singing; ‘found a stack of feathered hats in his macaroni’ Has there been a Yankee Doodle re-write nobody told me about?

Kids Say, v.10.0

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

Had a few this week: We had no power for three days due to a wind storm last Sunday. After two and a half days we had to empty the fridge because of spoilage and we put a candle in the fridge so we could see since it was dark outside. Hannah said, is it [...]

Kids Say, v.9.0

Monday, August 4th, 2008

Went for a walk at lunch with Hannah who rode her bike. As we went through the neighborhood I noticed she was having trouble stopping so I checked her brakes, commenting to her that one of them needed to be adjusted. She said ok and then asked, ‘can you tell me how to turn on [...]

Kids Say, v.8.0

Monday, July 7th, 2008

‘Kids Say’ worthy quotes are fewer and farther in between, but occasionally one of the kids comes up with one. The most recent both came from Hannah. Crisis in the Middle Ages I overheard Hannah laughing in the back seat of the car and when I asked her why she said, “I just saw an [...]

American Idol predicts the future?

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

In case you haven’t noticed the similarities: Archuleta = Obama Mercado = Clinton Cook = McCain Mercado is defeated…. will it be an Archuleta/Mercado ticket up against Cook? Is it prophecy? You heard it here first!

English is hard….

Thursday, May 8th, 2008

Hannah was telling me about the list of items the teacher requested for a granola recipe. “It says shelled sunflower seeds but I think she means unshelled.” “Oh, so she wants the shells on?” I asked. “No, shells off.” she replied. “Shelled, means shells off sweetie.” “Oh” she said, but she had that look on [...]

Our President Controls Oil Prices!

Wednesday, April 30th, 2008

I was listening to Bob and Tom this morning and they were able to interview Senator Hillary Clinton. I have to say it was informative because she let the entire listening audience know that when George Bush was elected, oil was $20 a barrel and now it’s $120 a barrel. I am sure he (George [...]

You gotta love the Irish!

Tuesday, April 29th, 2008

From a recent email: We in Ireland cannot figure out why you are even bothering to hold an election. On one side, you have a bitch who is a lawyer, married to a lawyer, … and a lawyer who is married to a bitch who is a lawyer. On the other side, you have a [...]