Parents just don’t understand…
I was doing a Blingo search the other day and I came across this post on MySpace written by a young man whose blog reminded me very much of how I felt at his age. I won’t go into details, or post a link to it, but it was one of those things that gave me a ‘boy, do I know how you feel’ moment. Well, an ‘at least I know how I felt’ moment so I decided to post a little ‘hey don’t worry, it’ll get better’ reply.
He wrote a nice note and thanked me, so over the next few days I checked back at his blog just to see how it went.
Well, this morning I checked and one of his friends had referred to me as a ‘creepy old man’ or something like that. Not that it really matters much, I have been called much worse by people whose opinions I actually respect and they didn’t bother me either, but it prompted me to check out what other words of wisdom this youngster had to say on their ‘space.’
Needless to say, it was pretty much what you would expect. ‘I can’t wait to move out’ (of the parents house), ‘play my music as loud as I want’ without ‘my parents droning in my ear about how they understand’ or words to that effect.
I have no issue with people voicing their opinions, in fact my 20 something years in the Navy and Reserve have helped (in some small way) protect the rights of people who want to express their opinions, but I do have an issue with people who ‘drone on’ to use this particular persons words about ‘whatever’ without complete consideration for everything impacting ‘whatever.’
While this young person waits impatiently to move out and bitches about their parents, they are enjoying the comforts of a nice home and warm meals. They probably have almost everything they ever asked for (an assumption on my part) and have access to a computer so they can post these rants. I wonder how they manage at this young (still in high school) age to afford all this (can you hear the sarcasm dripping from that last comment). Oh, my guess is the parents are funding it.
OK, maybe I should get down off my soapbox, but before I do I just have to say that before you (and I am speaking in general here) can say your parents don’t understand you, you oughta make sure you understand them, and not in some superficial ‘I’m in high school I know everything’ way. Unfortunately, this kind of understanding is not easily achieved and I find that even at my ‘old’ age, I am still learning.
This post will probably never reach the eyes of the particular person I am speaking about, but, it might find its way to someone who just might get it. ‘Creepy old’ people, OK so maybe not creepy, but old people (and by the way, 44 is NOT old) and parents in particular have a lot of wisdom that only years of experience can give you. Maybe sometimes you should turn down the music and listen to the drone.
Wondering about the Frankenstein pic?
I was researching a song when I saw you comment. As a parent of a sometimes surly, always misunderstood, down trodden and ( in her own words) never listened to 15 year old teenager, a preteen and a 10 year old I had to smile. Yours is not a rant but an observation of a fact.
Yes our eldest is a down trodden drama queen. She and her sisters may only use the computer for research and homework, may chat 15mns a day with their friends once chores and homework are done. T.V is limited to weekends for a total of 2 hours and special shows. They may not use the phone everyday just to chat, the do not own a cell phone. The eldest has an mp3 and a walkman she paid for from jobs an birthday money. She finds herself poor compared to her friends who were given everything they have.
Your comments are very true. Children today have more than our generation ever had, often with less responsibility than we did. Blame it on parents who feel guilty for not spending enough time with their kids because of work, divorce, selfishness, lack of parenting skills, wishing to give them what we couldn’t have or not knowing how to say no/not wishing to say no.
The sad part is that kids are crying out for the same thing we cried out for. They want to be heard and loved. Kids today feel abandoned and often uncared for. Many are raising themselves. They are often spoiled with possessions but many lack parental attention and guidance.
The generation gap will always exist. It is a time for children to break away from their parents. That is a hard time for both sides.
You are right, perhaps if both sides were a little more willing to slow down and listen, the angst would not be so strong. Youth feels invincible and vulnarable all at once. We adults tend to be a tad disillusioned and cynical. We also tend to dismiss their experience and knowledge. An acknowledgememt on both sides would go a long way to make the transition to adulthood easier.
My daughter has been up in her room feeling misunderstood and unloved. She interrupts us when we talk, refuses to hear what we have to say when she is angry. In a few minutes when she has calmed down, she will come for a hug and be ready to listen. We will try to resolve the conflict and perhaps she will agree with us, perhaps not. I am lucky to have these children and glad I took the time to watch them grow, talk to them and listen.
We are the past and present, they are the present and future. Harmony must be worked on.