Category: words

Steelers Lost…. watch how you say that!

I was Christmas shopping in a department store and was checking out, being assisted by an older woman. Her appearance made me think she might be Pentecostal, I mean, she had the PHD, the glasses, the outfit etc…. not that it matters, I am just trying to set the scene.

She was sharing the register with a much younger woman, hip, well dressed etc… who had just gotten off the phone. She turned to the older woman and said, ‘Steelers lost.’

The older woman got this kind of confused look on her face and said ‘who Steelers’ or something like that, and the younger woman replied ‘the Pittsburgh Steelers’ with this duh, everybody knows that, attitude.

I saw a look of relief on the older woman’s face as she said, ‘oh, my dogs name is Steeler.’

I just had to laugh. It was one of those Abbott and Costello moments you only see on TV.

Kids Say, v.8.0

‘Kids Say’ worthy quotes are fewer and farther in between, but occasionally one of the kids comes up with one. The most recent both came from Hannah.

Crisis in the Middle Ages

I overheard Hannah laughing in the back seat of the car and when I asked her why she said, “I just saw an old man in a sporty car. He is having a middle age crisis.”

What kind of fish is that?

While at the grocery we decided to have fish for dinner and Hannah helped us pick out what kind of fish we were going to have. Before we even started cooking, Noah asked what was for dinner and we replied fish. “What kind” he asked and Hannah replied “caught fish.” My wife and I both cracked up and through our laughter we said, “no Sweetie, its cod fish.”

She is funny without even trying… at least to us.

Seven words, not the dirty ones….

‘George Carlin died Sunday of heart failure’

Not everyone’s favorite comic, but he made me remember, he made me think, and he made me laugh. From his Catholic school stories, to Al Sleet (the Hippy Dippy Weatherman), to the meaning of words and how people use them, he always had a passion for what he said and he knew how to say it.

Thanks George, you will be missed.

Gems v.1.0

Gems are something I stumble across that are particularly interesting, funny, poignant, or for some reason, something I just feel I have to write down. This is the first.

I was listening to Bob and Tom and one of the comics, I can’t recall who, said something I just found not only completely funny, but also thought provoking. He said, “it is next to impossible to say eBay in Pig Latin.”

You’re trying it, aren’t you ;)

Exactly how big are English livers?

Stumbled across this Navy headline in The Mirror on Wednesday night;

liver-bomb

which of course begs the question, exactly how big were English livers in WWII? I mean, the Germans built 7 foot long bombs to take them out.

Jan obviously meant ‘live bomb’ but to remove any further ambiguity the headline was changed a few hours later to read; WW2 BOMB GETS BLOWN TO BLITZ.